A 36-year-old trans dad from Seattle who identifies as non-binary and queer has been documenting how they “took advantage of the body organs I was born with” to give birth after a one-night stand during their medical transition.
Danny Wakefield came out as transmasculine — a person assigned female at birth but identifies with masculinity — when they were 25, went on testosterone treatment for nine years and had a double mastectomy in Florida during the transition.
“Although I identify as transmasculine rather than male, people often read me as a cisgender gay man. So I’m aware that it does make me more visible to live in my identity as a transmasculine person,” Wakefield wrote in a 2020 piece for Newsweek.
In April that year, Wakefield found out they were pregnant — during a bout with COVID-19 – after a one-night stand with an unnamed man.
Wilder, whose gender Wakefield has not yet identified as its “part of their story,” was born in 2020.
“I’ve known for my entire life that I’ve wanted children and I knew before I transitioned that I would want to carry at least one child,” they wrote.
“Often when people are transitioning they might freeze their eggs. I also thought about how I would feed my baby when I had my double mastectomy, those small decisions had to be made, and I don’t regret them one bit,” they said.
“I don’t think I would be here with Wilder if I hadn’t taken care of myself and honored my identity back then,” they added.
Wakefield detailed what it was like being pregnant during the pandemic, which kept them home instead of going out in public on a regular basis, which “would have been quite different.”
“Despite the sickness, it was the most beautiful experience I’ve ever had. I’ve fallen in love with my body in ways that I’ve never experienced before,” they added.
Wakefield — who also is recovering addict — has amassed over a million followers on social media while documenting their parental journey on the website Danny the Trans Dad and on Instagram and TikTok accounts by the same name.
“Just because I don’t feel like a woman, that doesn’t mean I can’t take advantage of the body organs I was born with,” the dad says in a TikTok clip.
In another, he is seen rubbing his large belly.
“I was born with a uterus and so the world said I was girl, but I’m very much not a girl,” they wrote. “I’m also not a boy. I’m non-binary! I have the reproductive system that allows me to carry and give birth to a child., so that’s what I did. Transmen and non-binary people give birth, too.”
Wakefield told Yahoo Life that they were met with “snickers” from nurses, as well as “doubt, disbelief and a lack of knowledge” from doctors ill-equipped to address their needs.
“In one instance, it took an hour and a half to get them to treat me because they didn’t believe I was pregnant,” Wakefield told the outlet.
“The doctors and nurses would talk quietly among themselves, asking each other questions about me, instead of asking me directly — the patient who’s sitting right in front of them,” they added.
Dr. Juno Obedin-Maliver, assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Stanford University School of Medicine, said stories like Wakefield’s are not uncommon.
Obedin-Maliver told Yahoo Life that the medical establishment — and society in general — has little knowledge about pregnancy in the trans male population.
“We grow up in a world with books, from preschool on up, that until very recently have not imagined or really represented the diversity of communities as they are,” the doc told Yahoo Life. “None of our systems have been designed to delineate the difference between somebody’s gender and somebody’s pregnancy capacity.”
But Obedin-Maliver said that is slowly changing amid a growing demand from trans patients.